Is it Better to Ask Permission or Forgiveness?

I can't even begin to tell you how difficult this past six months have been.  In February of 2012 we had my in-laws over for dinner and the discussion turned to future plans and retirement.  My father-in-law mentioned that they were going to have to put their house on the market because of financial difficulties.
In 2007, they had build a garage/apartment in the back of their property in hopes of living in it and having someone move into their current home. At the time the garage/apartment was passed off by the city inspector, he told my in-laws they could not live in it.  They were told that two homes could not be on the same property.  They became discouraged and never finished the inside.  
The discussion then took another turn and we began to discuss the possibility of my husband and I purchasing their home so they could retire.   Well to give you a little background, my husband who is very in tune with the Spirit, had talked about this very thing with me after we had been married for about 5 years. Never in a million years did I really think it would happen! After talking to his parents they became very excited with the possibility of being able to still live on their property but be able to enjoy retirement.  We all prayed about it and felt good about the decision.  The plan was, to sell our home and purchase their home for what they owed and also finance the finish work on the new place. 
For the next couple months, we worked tirelessly to get our home ready to sell.  We put our home on the market at the end of June and it sold in 14 days. Crazy!  

The Home We Sold

Well being the good citizens that we are, we went to the city to make sure this was going to be alright.  Well that was a mistake!  It is now October and we are living in a two bedroom apartment with our 3 kids.  We thought we would be done and moved in by the end of September. 

The proposed Accessory Dwelling Unit

We met with the planning commission in September and were told that we needed to petition them with an ordinance to allow two dwellings on the same property.  We did some research and found several city's that allow Accessory Dwelling Units. 

Accessory Dwelling Units may be located inside of or attached to a single family dwelling, or in a detached structure like a garage.  The accessory dwelling unit must be a complete housekeeping unit with an entrance, kitchen, sleeping area, closet space, and bathroom facility.   

We were so excited thinking that the city would be excited for this proposal.  Boy were we wrong!  They just kept coming up with more and more concerns.  It is so frustrating having the fate of your future in someone else's hands. The biggest frustration for us has been the fact that we felt so strongly that this was what we needed to do.  We are trying to do something to help our family out and it isn't going the way we want.  

So, is it better to ask forgiveness than permission? Sometimes we wonder if we should
have just gone ahead and finished the second home and not even gone to the city. We know that the city does have laws and ordinances they need to follow but at what expense?

We have felt good about our decision and despite all the opposition,  know that things will work out for the best. Hopefully. ;)